He Looked a Little Angry

The one called Nick. Before he left for work last night. In fact, he turned to the one called Donna and said, “I’m so DONE with him.”

Who do you think he was mad at? His boss? An employee? A family member?

The cat? (Because there are plenty of reasons to be “done” with him.)

No. I’m sad to say, he was referring to ME – and frankly, I think that was a pretty mean thing to say about your faithful dog. Alright, so I was playing rather rough and grabbed his hand when I meant to grab my Wubba Kong, but it’s not like it was the first time that’s happened. I think something else must have happened to get him so mad.

Do you think maybe it was because of this?

It’s not my fault. After HE yelled at me for accidentally biting grazing his finger, I ran away from him (laughing) when this tree jumped out in front of me and slapped me across the muzzle. What was I supposed to do, stand there and take it?

My peoples have tried to fence it in to prevent our skirmishes, but a crazy yellow dog keeps tearing down the cheap plastic fencing they use the tree keeps escaping from it’s enclosure. Maybe if the one who’s “done with me” splurged and bought good fencing for the tree, like he did for his garden, we wouldn’t have these issues.

What’s that? You think it sounds like I attacked the tree?

I’m so offended. It’s bad enough my peoples always jump to that same conclusion, like last year, when I defended myself from the very same tree and they called me a murderer. No one even asked my side of the story. I’m telling you, that tree has it out for me. Every time it grows a little bit, it gets all full of itself and smacks me in the face and whispers nasty things in my ears.

I have no choice but to fight back and tear it limb from limb.

You guys believe me right? Look at how innocent I look.

I mean, think about it, what kind of tree survives multiple dog attacks and keeps growing back? Evil ones. That’s what kind. Look at the photo again. That thing’s creepy looking. Hanging there all mangled in the dark. Enough to give you nightmares…

What’s that? You see an evil glint in my eyes?

That’s just eye-shine from the nighttime photos.

Or is it?

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26 Responses so far.

  1. Jodi says:

    Oh Toby, I hope Nick has a heart like a dog and can forgive you for grazing his finger. I can assure you that the man that lives in our house has certainly said that about Delilah a time or two, but he loves her any ways.

    But the tree dude, don’t you know those are good for peeing on?

    Your friend,

    Sampson

    • Toby says:

      Poor Delilah. Can’t believe her peoples say mean things to her too. :-(

      Sampson, I agree that MOST trees are good for peeing on, but this one’s evil I tell you. Pure E-V-I-L.

  2. deb Phelps says:

    Poor Toby……tree’s can be replaced…Toby cannot. they will get over it…. love to you Toby.

  3. Oh buddy!!

    Great arguments!! I completely believe you and as for the innocent look, well you’ve perfected it Dude!!

    I’m sure once the human has time to be rational and absorb your evidence it will be clear to him that he has to take your side!! Tee Hee

    Good luck and stay strong Toby!!

    Your pal Snoopy :)

  4. Pamela says:

    Poor Nick. Poor Toby. Poor Tree. Sounds like there is lots of pity needed today.

    I hope Nick can forgive you soon. I bet it will happen when he can’t read your blog post without laughing.

    • Toby says:

      I “think” he forgives me. I did go over and put my head on his lap, looked up at him, and then gave him the tiny little tail thump on the tiles. Classic forgive me stuff.

  5. jan says:

    Humans seldom understand dogs’ efforts to protect them from evil forces like trees and couches and things that look harmless to human brains.

  6. Oh no Toby. We are sure it was all purely an accident.

    the brown dawgs

    • Toby says:

      I don’t think that tree hit me by accid….
      Oh, wait, you’re saying “I” should go with the accident excuse.
      Good call. I’ll keep it in mind for next time. :-)

  7. Teri says:

    I think the evil tree has been plotting your demise. Watch your back Toby!

  8. Leslie says:

    Oh poor Toby. And poor Nick, too. You sure do look contrite in those pictures up there. I’m pretty sure Mr. Bella has said that about both Bella and even our sainted Beau a time or two. I think it’s a guy thing. (Please don’t anyone kill me for that.) They’re just blowing off steam. I’m sure you’ll be back in Nick’s good graces in no time.

    Of course, we really have to talk about your thing for trees. Trees are good. And, yeah, even I might ‘blow off steam’ at Bella if she did that to one of my new Ginkos. Take it easy on the tree, buddy. You’ll fare better. ;)

    • Toby says:

      He is over it now, although the tree looks a little upset with me. And it has shrunk substantially because the peoples had to trim it. Maybe now it will leave me alone. If it does, I’ll be happy to leave IT alone. :-)

  9. [...] Although I should be “ashamed” that I didn’t have time to pose either of my peoples in derogatory positions with signs making fun of them – I’m not. Because, hey, us dog’s have no shame. And sure, I could have just asked them this morning, but the one called Donna hates having her photo taken and the one called Nick is still mad about a little incident involving a tree. [...]

  10. Ohhhh toby!! How could he EVER be “done with you!!??” Look at that face…none of this is your fault…NONE of it!
    xoxoxo

  11. Gracie says:

    Hello Toby! I came over to say hello and I saw this post about the fingers and tree. Sir, I am so in tune with what you are saying! I’m constantly showing my human that if you try to take something out of my mouth, even it we’re playing, there is a chance you fingers could come in contact with my teeth. But does she listen, no! She doesn’t yell at me or anything, she knows better, but when it happens the shrieks coming from her is unbearable!

    Also, there is an evil tree in my yard. It’s not small or easily breakable, as if I would touch the slimy thing, but these leaves hang off long sticks and go all the way to the ground. IT”S IN MY WAY! I try to swat it away but then others get involved and smack me back! THE NERVE! I’ve tried to get the groundsmen to cut it down but they seem to think it is amusing. I DO NOT FIND IT AMUSING!

    Tell me Toby, where do you live and could you come to my home (maybe with some of your big friends) and break this tree? I’d be forever in your debt!

    • Toby says:

      Hello There Gracie. That DOES sound like an evil tree. You best be careful and steer clear of it until you can get someone (like me) to come and pull it out for you.

      My peoples told me never to give my address to strange dogs on the internet, but I’d be happy to help, if only I can convince the peoples to drive me over. ; -)

      It’s NOT nice that those groundsmen aren’t helping you any. Make sure you shame them too.

  12. [...] I tried demolishing the tree that one of Nick’s parent peoples – the one he calls “Mom” – gave to [...]

  13. Lauren says:

    Oh my gosh, that is so funny (sorry mr. Tree)! I think Toby has some points here. I mean, really, WHAT are his people’s thinking??

  14. [...] One of us is going to win this ongoing battle, and it sure ain’t gonna be THAT TREE. [...]

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