The one called Nick. Before he left for work last night. In fact, he turned to the one called Donna and said, “I’m so DONE with him.”
Who do you think he was mad at? His boss? An employee? A family member?
The cat? (Because there are plenty of reasons to be “done” with him.)
No. I’m sad to say, he was referring to ME – and frankly, I think that was a pretty mean thing to say about your faithful dog. Alright, so I was playing rather rough and grabbed his hand when I meant to grab my Wubba Kong, but it’s not like it was the first time that’s happened. I think something else must have happened to get him so mad.
Do you think maybe it was because of this?
It’s not my fault. After HE yelled at me for accidentally
biting grazing his finger, I ran away from him (laughing) when this tree jumped out in front of me and slapped me across the muzzle. What was I supposed to do, stand there and take it?
My peoples have tried to fence it in to prevent our skirmishes, but
a crazy yellow dog keeps tearing down the cheap plastic fencing they use the tree keeps escaping from it’s enclosure. Maybe if the one who’s “done with me” splurged and bought good fencing for the tree, like he did for his garden, we wouldn’t have these issues.
What’s that? You think it sounds like I attacked the tree?
I’m so offended. It’s bad enough my peoples always jump to that same conclusion, like last year, when I defended myself from the very same tree and they called me a murderer. No one even asked my side of the story. I’m telling you, that tree has it out for me. Every time it grows a little bit, it gets all full of itself and smacks me in the face and whispers nasty things in my ears.
I have no choice but to fight back and tear it limb from limb.
You guys believe me right? Look at how innocent I look.
I mean, think about it, what kind of tree survives multiple dog attacks and keeps growing back? Evil ones. That’s what kind. Look at the photo again. That thing’s creepy looking. Hanging there all mangled in the dark. Enough to give you nightmares…
What’s that? You see an evil glint in my eyes?
That’s just eye-shine from the nighttime photos.
Or is it?